The Greatest Papelbon Story Ever Told

Story contributed by David Elson

Last season at Fenway, a funny thing happened in Section 41. About 10 guys were there to celebrate some guy's 40th birthday party (his name was "Hammer") as well as another person's 15th wedding aniversary. Most of them were out of towners that were not even real die-hard Red Sox fans, but the point is that they came in smashed and continued to drink like fish while there. By the second inning, we start to find out one reason why the "Hammer" is called the "Hammer". He pulls out of his shirt pocket some pictures of his recent trip to some Caribbean Island. The first few pictures look innocent enough with him and some hot chick who apparently was his ex-wife. The 4th picture shocks you: his ex-wife is COMPLETELY naked...and it goes on from there...we're talking about a complete pornographic sequence here. And they were passing these pictures around to each other and also to nearby fans having a jolly good time discussing the hammering ability of the "Hammer" among many other things.

One of them gets the idea that the "moneyshot" picture should be shown to the players in the Red Sox bullpen. So he folds the picture and flicks it over the railing so that it lands in the steps of the bullpen. And that is when the party really started.Papelbon comes out of the dugout during the game holding the picture in his hand with a bemused face looking for the guy who threw the picture. The whole section starts buzzing with excitement and Papelbon and the "Hammer's" friend who threw the picture start talking to each other. I cannot hear what was said, but during the next half-inning break, Papelbon emerges. The section goes nuts again and this time Papelbon signals to the "Hammer" to get ready to catch a pitch, and he throws a baseball to the "Hammer". It was signed by the entire Red Sox bullpen, and they wrote "Thanks for the bullpen pics".

Naturally, everyone started going crazy at this point, and the Hammer's friend tried to get more signed baseballs. Throughout the rest of the game, Papelbon, Timlin and one other reliever were talking and joking around with the Hammer's friends and a deal was worked out whereby the "Hammer" would sign one of the pictures (he signed it "Thanks for the autographed baseball, The Hammer") and allow the Red Sox to keep the picture in their bullpen in exchage for more signed baseballs. Meanwhile, everyone in the stadium can see the craziness going in with the Red Sox bullpen. Even the security guard was shown the pictures and her reaction was quite priceless. All in all, it was quite the day and quite the scene.

The attached pics show Papelbon's excited reaction to seeing one of the pictures and one of the signed baseballs ("The Hammer" is the one in the blue shirt).

The Rise of the No-Name QB, And Other Insights on Week 6 in the NFL

Cleo Lemon, Tim Rattay, Derek Anderson, Vinny Testeverde, Gus Frerotte, Kerry Collins...Are these really the QB's who played significant time in week 6 of the NFL season? About 1/5 of the league is fielding a field general who has no business starting an NFL team in 2007. Testeverde is about as old as Julio Franco, Frerotte is the guy who knocked himself out with a head butt to a wall, and Cleo Lemon sounds like a guy who would be a character on 'Good Times.' Nevertheless, in an age of first round bonus babies and increased competition, these journeymen took the reigns and performed admirably for their teams (except Frerotte, of course, who head-butted his way to 5 INT's). With injuries impacting teams at an all-time high rate this season, expect this trend to continue.

Here are some more insights on week 6 of the NFL season:

• The additons of Randy Moss and Donte Stallworth to the Pats have been grabbing headlines, but how about little WR Wes Welker. He's catching short passes underneath and becoming a valuable possession receiver for Tom Brady. Look for him to be a consistent pest to opposing defenses as the season continues.

• As noted in this blog last week, WR Bobby Engram (9 catches, 120 yds) and TE Owen Daniels (5 catches, 79 yds) put up nice games this week. Keep them in your starting lineups until Deion Branch and Andre Johnson return.

• QB David Garrard looks like the real deal. The former backup has taken over the QB position for Jacksonville and stabilized the unit. The fact that he has yet to throw an interception this season is incredible!

• QB Chad Pennington looked shaky again this week. He has a matchup against the Bengals next week, which may hold off the call for Kellen Clemens. The Jets may be better off feeding the Bungles to Clemens now so he can get a quality start under his belt. The last time the Jets made a significant QB change was when Pennington replaced Testerverde in 2003. The Jets made the playoffs that season. Looks like history may repeat itself.

• Boy, was I wrong about Derek Anderson. The guy currently has more fantasy points than Peyton Manning. He's always been a gunslinger, but he is correcting his mistakes and not turning over the football. And, he's making a stud out of former 1st round pick Braylon Edwards. Keep riding Anderson while he's hot.

• Adrian Peterson is such a godzilla-like monster that I saw Japanese peasants running from Chicago this weekend.

• Miami is 0-6 and currently on the clock...With talent like Ronnie Brown, Chris Chambers, and Jason Taylor, it's amazing they can be this bad.

• Anyone see Marion Barber's run out of the endzone to avoid a safety?? The RB plays angry and gives Dallas some attitude. He's a keeper and will take over the full-time job next season when they let Julius Jones walk.

Does the Head Coach or Manager actually make a difference in his team's result?

Does the Head Coach or Manager actually make a difference in his team's result?


This season, the San Diego Charger fired Marty Schottenheimer, who led the team to a 14-2 record in 2006, to hire head coach underachiever Norv Turner. Schottenheimer had a proven success of turning around NFL teams and leading them to the playoffs, but never won a Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Turner had won several Super Bowls with the Dallas Cowboys in the 90's as the offensive coordinator, but did little as a head coach at stops in Washington and Oakland. Is Turner the missing ingredient? Well, the Chargers are off to a lackluster start and already have lost more games this season than they did all of last year. If the Chargers underachieve in this system, Turner and GM AJ Smith are going to feel the blame.

But before you write Turner off, I remember another lackluster skipper who took over a team in 1996 that had not been to the World Series in 15 years. That manager had previously managed the Braves, Mets, and Cardinals. Up to then, he had a record of 894 wins and 1,003 loses, a .471 average. World Series Winning managers Davey Johnson and Lou Pinella were available. Nevertheless, that manager with the lackluster record was hired. From then, that same manager led his team to a record 11 straight playoff finishes. His name: Joe Torre.

Now, Steinbrenner wants to fire Torre for his recent loss in the playoffs. But who is going to do a better job than Joe Torre? Joe Torre was not responsible for the pathetic outings of Roger Clemens and Wang. Torre is not responsible for Jeter hitting into numerous double plays. Will hiring a new manager make the difference for the Yanks next year? Only time will tell.

Is this Parity? And Other Insights from Week 5 in the NFL

Is this parity? The New Orleans Saints, St. Louis Rams, and Miami Dolphins are a combined 0-14. Meanwhile, the Dallas Cowboys, New England Patriots, and Indianapolis Colts are a combined 15-0!! Agreeably, many teams are finding their way to the middle, but how different is this scenario than other sports? Clearly, the undefeated Cowboys, Pats, and Colts are Super Bowl contenders, while the Saints, Rams, and Dolphins are already on the clock...



Here are some other insights on week 5 in the NFL season:

• What a difference an offense makes? RB Sammy Morris, formerly the guy who could not handle even a partial load for the Miami Dolphins last season, has now rushed for back-to-back 100 yard games for the Pats. He will likely share time with Maroney, when the youngster returns from injury, but you should ride the Morris train while you can.

• Look who is the new number one receiver? Due to injuries to wide outs, Tight End Owen Daniels and WR Bobby Engram have been elevated to #1 receiver status. Keep them in mind as quality fill-ins as we enter the month of bye-week mania.

• Is that really Kurt Warner back under center? Despite attempts to keep the former two-time NFL MVP down, Warner has emerged as the new starting QB for the Cards. Although it took a big injury to Leinart to officially elevate Warner, Warner's recent success showed that his time was coming. The Cards O-line has been holding up well, so as long as Warner has time to throw, he will be a quality option. If he doesn't have time to throw, he will soon find his immobile self sitting next to Drew Bledsoe on the "what happened to us?" bench.

• Trent Edwards is just ok. While some are pointing to the next great QB controversy (Edwards afterall was tabbed "great" by QB guru Bill Walsh), he is more likely to follow in the footsteps of rookie QB's Charlie Frye and Bruce Gradkowski, who started off with great games as rookies and then fell to mediocre once defenses had time to figure them out.

• Is there a Running back in the House? In only 5 weeks, Tampa Bay has managed to lose starting RB Cadillac Williams, and solid backup Michael Pittman, to injuries. With 3rd stringer Earnest Graham now left to grab the starting carries, the team was looking at signing Kevin Barlow and Ciatrick Fason for depth. Yikes! Eventually, the team signed Goal-line vulture Zack Crockett for depth, leaving the starting load to Graham.

• The Giants pulled off a great win against the Jets on Sunday. Brandon Jacobs returned and rushed for 100 yards on 20 carries. Now 3-2, and with the next few games against the likes of Atlanta, San Fran, and Miami, the G-Men could realistically go into their bye week with a record of 6-2. Not bad for a team that started 0-2 and could help but give up 30 points a game...

• Were the Dolphins really haggling for weeks over QB vet Trent Green? With another concussion last week and an 0-5 start, we may begin seeing rookie John Beck get some PT.

• Jason Campbell has big upside. Campbell put up a great game for the Redskins on Sunday. Despite suiting up without number one receiver Santana Moss, Campbell looked like a polished QB in the pocket. Remember, this is the leader of that Auburn team that went 11-0 and got screwed by the BCS. He is quickly becoming a great field general for the Skins.

My All-Time NFL Marijuana-Smoking Fantasy Team

Now that Denver Broncos Running Back Travis Henry has tested positive for marijuana and put his career in jeopardy, it begs the question, Why is it that so many athletes risk their livlihood to smoke drugs?

In the past few years, you can almost field a fantasy team worth of players who have been caught using recreational drugs:

QB: Michael Vick

RB: Ricky Williams, Travis Henry

WR: Randy Moss, David Boston

TE: Jerramy Stevens

Even more, at the last NFL scouting combine, top rookies Calvin Johnson, Gaines Adams, and Amobi Okoye all admitted to previously using marijuana!!

Then again, if you are 20 years old and have millions to spend, what else are you going to spend it on? You can only have so many fancy cars and HD TV's!!

I even remember years back when a bench player for the Celtics had a big Halloween party at his place in Boston. He was 24 with millions to spend, and so he had a special room in his house just for marijuana smoking! Can you imagine? An entire room devoted to toking...

I understand why these guys do it. I'm just shocked by how dumb they all are to get caught.

A Sad Fate for Mr. Met

Alas, the Mets have done it. In one of the greatest choke-jobs in sports, the Mets have lost a 7 game lead in their last 17 games to miss the playoffs completely.



Mr. Met, is likewise, distressed. Check out what befell Mr. Met on Conan O' Brien.

Insights from Week 4 in the NFL

The Packers are 4-0! I don't believe it! The Packers are undefeated a quater into the season, along with the likes of the Cowboys, Patriots, and the Colts. How is this possible? There is no ground game, few, if any, recognizable stars on defense or special teams..It must be the gunslinger who has officially reached the status of the GREATEST of ALL TIME! There is no argument.

Brett Favre is, as Mike Lupica suggested, Cal Ripken and Hank Aaron rolled into one! Not only has Favre broked every major quaterback record with lackluster receivers such as Antonio Freeman and Robert Brooks (ask yourself the last time the Packers spent a first round pick on a Wide Receiver), he has played in over 200 consecutive games!

This season, more than any other, it seems, more players are getting injured and missing games than ever before. The following fantasy starters have already missed a game or are scheduled to miss an upcoming game through 1/4 of the season: Steven Jackson, Jake Delhomme, Brian Westbrook, Tavarais Jackson, Chad Pennington, Steve McNair, Cadillac Williams, Brandon Jacobs, Ahman Green, Santana Moss, Mark Clayton, Terry Glenn...And, these are just the fantasy offensive starters. I'm not even counting all the injured linemen and defensive players. This just means that Favre is even more amazing, and what he has done without a ground game this season, ever more incredible!!!



Here are some other insights on Week 4 in the NFL:

• Maybe the Browns are better than we thought? Or maybe it's just the Ravens who are worse than we thought. After Derek Anderson torched the Ravens defense, the Ravens should start thinking about emphasizing McGahee and the ground game rather than relying on Air McNair and his 8 yard passes.

• Contrary to popular thought, Brian Leonard was not the answer for the Rams. A popular waiver wire pick this past week, Leonard did not start on his own team in college and is unlikely to be anything more than a backup in the NFL. The Rams have lost Orlando Pace as well as some other vital linemen. With Bulger nursing 2 broken ribs, don't expect the Rams ground game to get much room to run.

• Giants RB Derrick Ward is really, really good. A former 7th round draft choice of the Jets in 2004, Ward has finally received the opportunity to play since Brandon Jacobs went down. Ward has totalled over at least 85 yards from scrimmage in each of his first 4 games. Coughlin claims that Ward is even faster on the game field than he is in practice. Although Jacobs is likely to return this week, Ward may be a huge factor in the season going forward.

• The Chargers are really, really bad. Hard to believe that "Nice guy" Norv turned these Super Bowl contenders into losers in only 4 games. Paging Marty?

• The Cardinals are playing Steeler-Smash Mouth football and Edge is a top 10 fantasy RB again. In a big upset for the Red and White, the Cardinals defeated the Steelers 21-14 yesterday. It was vindication for Ken Whisenhut, but more so, the Cardinals franchise. They would have found a way to lose this game under Denny Green last year. Also, don't look know, but Edge is putting up Top RB numbers better than LJ, SJax, or LT.

• Daunte Culpepper is back!! In a day where he accounted for 5 TD's (3 rushing and 2 passing), Culpepper made every fan in South Beach wonder, why did we haggle so much for Trent Green?

• Plaxico Burress cannot be covered. The man is 6"5' and runs a 4.4 in the 40. All Manning has to do is lob up the ball to him on every play. Why does this not happen more??

• Cedric Benson is falling into oblivion. The former first round draft choice was benched in the last 11 minutes of Sunday's game after fumbling the ball, yet again. Maybe it wasn't all "Wrecks'' Grossman's fault?